Februaury 17th

I am so tired.
And I am guilty once again for not keeping up with blogging!
I'm seriously going to try to get back on it, for me.

Last night was tough.
We got some really sad news. Our family is pretty tight, and when one suffers, we all suffer.

My Dad lives for his dog. Seriously. This dog is so special and important to him.
He has always had a difficult time expressing his feelings, and he's never been the most affectionate man I've known.... until "Molly".
She's a golden, about to be 6 years old.
Yesterday, while I was working, and dealing with some other stuff, Mom called me from her office crying...
Molly has bone cancer. Damn. SHIT! All I could think about was how heartbroken my Dad is. She told me he had called her while bringing her home from the Vet. He was crying... Then, she began to cry. I got up from my desk and went to see her in her office. I was crying. What a mess. At this point, we know that she will lose her leg... UNLESS it has spread. If it has, we're not sure what will happen :(. Dad will be taking her to the vet today. So, I will learn more about things later....
I so love my family. I have my hubby who is struggling with the thought of losing his father to cancer. And, not having had the best relationship all these years with him...and the thoughts and regrets of what could have been, should have been...etc..
My parent's, and this whole cancer thing with Molly..

And then there's new friendships blossoming, and fairly new friendships that feel like they are crumbling... Things can be so frustrating and confusing. I wish I understood better.. I really do.

I am very excited about my new adventures. I have so many doors opening up with such positive feelings shining through.. I have these amazing friends that I am bonding with really well... so considerate and loving. I adore them. You know, it was so sweet and special.. my girlfriend wrote my husband a letter yesterday. It was the sweetest gesture I have seen coming from a friend in such a long time.
My husband made lunch for me and a couple of my girlfriends. They appreciated it so much that one of them wrote him the nicest thank you letter. It was awesome. I know he felt good receiving it. My other girlfriend tells him all the time how awesome he is. I love that. Good people. I am so blessed.

Now, I know this for sure, and I can't be more thrilled. Fred and I have felt so close, so strong. We recently celebrated our 10 years together. What amazing bonding time we've shared. I can't imagine my life without him. We have been having these moments lately that I wouldn't miss for anything. So connected... on so many levels. It's been absolutely amazing...

It doesn't end there..
We are heading out of town this Friday to see some really special friends that we haven't seen since last September. There are 3 other couples that we'll be meeting. We're all so excited! We'll spend the night visiting, and the next morning we'll go our for Breakfast... I hope. That's what we usually do when we all meet up. :) I am looking forward to it. As is Fred. :)

The following week we're heading to Binghamton NY just for an overnight stay on Saturday. My girlfriend Darci is having a huge 40th Birthday celebration at a gorgeous resort in Binghampton. I haven't seen her in 20 years. I am so anxious to see her again. It should be so nice. I can't wait....

I am also getting ready to celebrate my Birhtday soon. I'm sad though... I am not sure where things stand with a couple of our friends that we have been really close with... and we're supposed to be getting together, and going to a concert together. I have no idea what's happening... and it makes me feel really sad. I wish I didn't care so much about everything... I am way to emotional. I just don't get it... and I have no clue where we stand anymore :( Fred tells me to quit worrying. He doesn't like that I get so involved... because in the end, it seems feelings are always hurt... and I am way too worried all the time about people.. ugh.

Anyway...

It's a beautiful day today. I am happy to be sitting here writing, and breathing, and living.

I'm in Princeton. I am beginning to enjoy working in Princeton on Tuesdays... I think I like the break from the big office.

Wow..I got a lot out there, and off my chest.

Peace.