"Erin, You have fans who look forward to a peek into your journey. Like a reality show we must tune into or we flip for missing an episode. Your are my reality show and I tune in every evening to catch a glimpse. But I don't miss your show, I'm tuned in but all I see too often are reruns. Seems as if the shows producer only runs a show when she feels like it. Please don't tease your fans with 2, 3 or 4 posts in a day, and then just 1 in a week. How about 3 a week? If you can't do it everyday? Thank You"
No, Thank you. I will most definitely consider the fact that people stumble upon my blog and read on. I do appreciate that, really. I have been neglecting my blog because sometimes I am at a loss, OR, sometimes I just don't feel like it... It's been a rough few months, so sometimes at the end of the day I don't care to re-live my experiences. Sometimes I can't wait to share... it varies from day to day.
Here's the thing. My son in getting ready to move in with his Dad (in about 5 weeks). I am saddened by this in ways that I cannot express in words. It often consumes me. SO, during times like this, I close up and keep things to myself. It's when I eventually come to grips with things that I'm able to express myself better.... so, there's a big one for me. And, out it comes. My son is moving, and it sucks. I harbour feelings that make me feel bad, and well, I'm beginning to realize that these feelings are "okay" and fairly "natural". We'll see how it goes. I am basically powerless over this move. He's almost 17.
My own personal journey within myself is going well otherwise. I'm doing things each and every day that remind me that I can accomplish my goals. I am actually pretty damn strong willed. I am proud of that. I'm losing weight, getting in better shape, and feeling better about myself than I have for years and years. I'm 43 and not in the best physical shape, but I'm getting there, and I'm not giving up for anything. I have this great group of supportive people in my life, too. My husband prepares all my meals for me. He weighs and measures everything to assure that I stick exactly to the program to gain incredible results. He loved me at my heaviest, and he loves me just the same with each and every pound I lose. This program.... It's working. I've lost 22 lbs so far. Then, I have my friends and my co-workers. They are always paying me compliments and encouraging me to continue with this program. My kids are dear, and give me "skinny hugs", they make it nice. It's been a really positive change in my life and I'm taking it all the way. yay for me.
My job is good. I am doing a lot of new and different things since my move, and I really like it. I am still so very grateful for ever landing this job. I don't forget where I came from. And, I won't lose focus on where I want to be. It's a journey....that's how I see it. Life. I'm living it.
I have some health issues I'm actually going to deal with after suffering in pain for about 10 years. With the help of my husband (making the initial call for me) I will be taking care of this, and hopefully living a better, more comfortable, less painful life within the next month or so. I'm seeing a doctor next Friday. I'm scared to pieces, but I've come to realize and accept that this is something that needs to be treated with surgery, and won't get better on it's own. I'm putting myself out there and taking care of business... finally. Holy shit, I'm damn frightened.... I will be okay.
This weekend I will also see many family members that I haven't seen since last October. I'm so happy and looking forward to this weekend. My Aunt Suzie is marrying a great guy who loves her to the moon. I can't wait to be a part of this. I know I should bring tissues. And, I can't wait to visit with my Granny, and the other family members that I adore. It will be great. Wow, one of my Aunts that will be there I haven't seen in I have no idea how many years. The more I think about this, the more excited I feel. I think the last time I saw her was 10 years ago at my wedding. Could it be? I think so.
There has been a lot going on. And yes, I am guilty of not keeping up. I need to get on the ball and quit turning the other cheek.
Oh, this weekend I DO plan on taking a lot of pictures. Oh, and I hope to grab a hold of my hubby and get him to take some fun pictures of me! I might bring some fun stuff to dress up in!! I just bought a great pair of thigh highs... hmmmmmmm, I'm packing some good stuff!!!!! The last photo shoot we had was 22 lbs ago. I am definitely not going to be shy for the camera this time!!!!
So, on to a 4 day weekend. Thank you for inspiring me to get back on track a little with my blog. I am not a very exciting reality show, but I do appreciate that people are actually interested in reading what I have to say.
Hell, maybe I'll even blog more later. Once you get the brain flowing, I tend to carry on and on and on. :)
Peace.
