9th Grade Dance.....

Well, Brooke has her very first Dance in the 9th grade. It's some type of semi-formal event. She's very excited. I mean, considering. Tyler broke her heart, but there's a few boys that would love to take her.. and yesterday, her friend Shane asked her, and she accepted. I'm happy for her. I know she'll have a nice time. I also know that I'm happy that she's going with a friend. Someone who she can laugh with, and not take the whole thing so seriously. I suppose she's going to need a pretty dress. I look forward to taking her shopping for something pretty. Nice... Should be fun.

My 9th grade dance. It wasn't quite the same as Brooke's will be.
I did go out shopping for a beautiful dress. I can picture it as clear as day. It was perfect. I loved it. I actually felt really beautiful in it. I couldn't wait to go....
I'll never forget the day of the dance. I was beyond excited. I had everything all figured out. The shoes I'd wear, the make-up. I knew exactly how I'd wear my hair. I just couldn't wait.

I got ready. I came down to show my parents how I looked. I was beautiful! They smiled and were excited for me. I thought. However, even with all the anxious feelings going through me, I could sense trouble.

Then, it all came crashing down. My Mom and Dad sat me down to talk to me. It seemed they were having trouble in their marriage. They had decided, that very day, that my Dad was going to spend some time at my Grandfather's house in Huntington. I was completely heart broken. I couldn't believe what was happening to our "perfect" family... or so what I thought to be the "perfect" family....

Why made them think that telling me this before my dance was the right thing to do? They knew how long I had been looking forward to it. They knew how much time and effort I put in to the dress, the shoes... my hair, my make-up. It was my first dance... and, I was devastated. Not at all what I had in mind.

So, I remember going back upstairs, cleaning up my face. I wanted to make the best of it. I'd try to put my thoughts about my parents off, until after. It was hard, but I wanted to go, and have a great time. I waited so long for this night. It was like a dream.... why did they tell me this on such a special night.

I watched the clock. I tried so hard not to think about my parents. I had so many questions, but they would have to wait. Soon I realized that my date was about 30 minutes late. I remember pacing back and forth.. checking my face in the mirror to be sure that there was no sign of me crying...

An hour passed.. no date. I was now missing the beginning of the dance....

I called him. No answer. Soon, almost an hour and a half passed....

My Mom offered to take me. She said I shouldn't wait anymore. I didn't like the sound of it, but I couldn't imagine missing the dance.....

SO, off I went.. and Mom dropped me off, alone. It wasn't at all how I pictured it would be. I didn't dance. I didn't get flowers... I was one of the only girls there without a date.

I never did hear from him. Not a word, not even an apology....

The days following the dance, my Dad left. He was gone for the whole summer after I got out of the 9th grade... I never really knew why, until I was in my 20's.

Funny what we remember, and what we forget.

I hope Brooke's 9th grade dance is wonderful, and she laughs, dances, and feels as beautiful as she'll look.

Writers Block......
I've had a huge case of it lately. Usually, I can sit down and tons of thoughts race through my head. Things I want to get out of my head and on to my blog. Lately, I am at a loss. I don't know if it's that my head is too full, or my thoughts are just to complicated to share. Maybe I'm full of blanks.. doubt that!

So, here I sit... trying to think of what's on my mind......

Let's see.. some of the random things swishing around.

Nate. Sentencing day. I'm not going to lie...I count the days in my head for when he faces the music. I don't usually feel good when bad things happen to people, but I'm feeling that, with him. I can mention 100 reasons why he deserves to be put away for a very long time. But, I won't say a word about it. Instead, I will say that I'm sure the information that's been gathered on him will be enough to give him the time he deserves. Sometimes people do get what they deserve... both the good, and in his case, the bad. I bet he's counting the days too. I wonder if he's thinking about running.. I would, if I were him. It's going to be a scary future for him. I bet he didn't think about that while he was out there hurting innocent people... and even worse, people that thought they were his friends... Good luck with that. Enjoy your journey ahead.

The kids. They are okay... Brooke is going through so much lately. The best that I can do is try to be a good Mother to her. I was explaining to my Mom today that I've been trying to recall my life in 9th grade, so I can better understand her life as it is today. I remember the girls being mean. I hated when it was "my turn" to be the one that they turned on. I hated the pressure about boys. I thought I knew everything.. really, I knew almost nothing. I went along with things I didn't believe in. I remember being on Nichols road, in the back of a truck that a bunch of us were catching a ride in.. and we realized the truck was headed in the wrong direction. As it gained speed, my friends jumped off.. onto the highway. I was the only one still in the back of this strangers pick up... and I was scared to take the leap. I never even wanted to get in the truck to begin with. I think the guys were college age. We were at the University when we got in... I jumped.. I remember how it hurt when I landed on the highway. I was scared I would get run over by a car. Lucky for me, for us all.. it was late at night at there were few vehicles on the road. I was scratched and bruised.. but I was okay. Who knows what those guys would have done if I didn't jump. I'm still grateful that I did. I never took a ride with a stranger again. And, at that very point in my life, I began to disconnect from that group of friends. I think it was a wise choice. I hope Brooke makes better choices than that.
In 10th grade I started hanging around with the "dirtbag" crowd. Funny, I didn't fit in with them. Not physically.... I was maybe what people would consider as "prissy". Maybe "girly". I didn't wear jean jackets, black leather jackets, concert t-shirts. etc.. But, I liked these people. They were genuine and nice to me. Treated me like I was someone. The friends from the previous years were angry and upset with me. I didn't care. They called me names and made fun of me for my new choice of friends. I was proud to be away from them. Interesting.. I later found out that the old friends got involved in cocaine, and other drugs. I never touched the stuff.. I was happy with myself.
I hope Brooke steps up and takes enough pride in herself to be exactly who she is, and not allow herself to get pulled in to things that will hurt her, or make her ashamed of who she is. She's quite beautiful. I hope she doesn't let them bring her down. It's a rough world out there.. I have faith, but I'm also concerned, and have my eyes wide open.

The winter blues. I think I have them. I know my husband does. Do we all suffer from the winter blues? I often think on some level, we all do. I think a little light therapy would do us good.. but I know tanning beds cause cancer. So, that's out. I look forward to spring. I want my energy back. Inside, I'm full of life and energy... then when I get up and get going, I'm exhausted. LOL. God, give me strength!

Geico commercials. I love them. They are so creative and funny. I am so glad they put the cavemen and the lizard to rest. The new one's truly make me laugh out loud... Laughter, I love it. It's so good for the soul.
Thanks for making me laugh, Geico.

Ok, so maybe I'm cutting loose from writers block. I guess sometimes it just takes a little effort. I've been slacking. I want to get it all out.

Thursday feels like Monday

With Thursday feeling like Monday, tomorrow should be a treat!!! What a busy day. Two busy weeks in a row! I love my job, but this is crazy I tell ya!

356 day project. I'm doing well with it. I hope to get more focused and creative on the weekends, and when it's not so darn cold outside!!!!!

Here's some photo's from my travels today......

I think today was a great success. If you love one of the photo's you take, it's a great accomplishment... I love like 2 or 3! Woohooo! Yay me!!! Will blog more later. Just too tired right this second!