Thursday, January 3, 2013
Welcome 2013, and welcome to the new and about to be improved me.
I am going to be making so many HUGE changes that if you know me, your head will spin.
2012 wasn't the best year, but I did reach a major goal and I did make some good and positive changes in my life. I lost 60 pounds, and I had a really good year on the job. Those are two things to take pride in.
I did have some experiences that didn't make this a very good year for me. My son decided (back in August of 2011 actually) that he was going to live with his Dad. He has now been living with him for almost a year and a half. It was really a tough pill to swallow, and I struggle with it often. Not as much as I did in the first several months, but it's not easy like I was hoping it would end up being. His visits are nice, but at this age the kids really come "home" to be with their friends. I don't like to wish any of my life away, but I look forward to the day if and when it comes to spend more time sitting and just talking with him more often. It's the little things that I miss the most.
My life also changed a bit when my husband took on a major responsibility to take care of a long time friend of his. Mary, who is 90, is now a daily part of our routine. More like a daily part of his, but over the summer I did give up much of my early flex time to spend time with her and make sure she was ok. Her husband passed away in May, 2012 and before he died he asked that Fred be sure she was taken care of. He's a man of his word, and has done just that. Every day, often more than once a day, he takes time to be with her. He goes there every night and prepares her a nice hot meal. Then he sits and reads the paper while she drinks her coffee. He washes her dishes and makes sure she has everything she needs. He does it all. I have pulled away quite a bit because she has a manipulative personality and tends to say things against me to Fred to get some kind of negative reaction from him. He knows better, and simply disregards her comments. She has come to celebrate Thanksgiving in our home, as well as Christmas eve. We open our home to her as though she's family. I wish she would just appreciate things and be grateful for what he does for her. Instead it seems like she has begun to attempt to control our life, and it get's to me, and it get's to Fred. It's just not easy at times.
My Grandfather is sick and dying. My Grandmother is 91 and is basically on her own to take care of him.
I will come back to this....
I am hating my fucking life right now so this isn't a good time to continue this.
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