Thursday Night....

Tonight was tough. Silent ride home from our first visit to our Therapist....

Communication - not working......

I'm sitting on the bed, writing this, while he's gone off to the shop, or something. I really don't know. He just left. Not easy, not fun. This is how it is for us tonight. This is how it's been, for far too long. I usually follow him. I can't do it anymore. I mean it. I have to stop. And, if something doesn't change, who really knows where this life will lead us.

I don't want to post sad, painful things on this site. But, right now, I cannot do anything else.

There's no fluffy, soft picture to paint tonight.



We're swimming against the tide. It's exhausting.

And off we go!

So, me and the bats.... We're headed off to "University Day" over at Daly's. The trolley will be picking us up at noon. (lol)

I must watch out for my little bats.... make sure they don't trip. climbing up into this thing. Ahhhhhhhhhhh... I have my camera! I'll get a few shots. Post them tonight. They have no idea that I have this Blog site. So, I can post their faces all over... lol - I must entertain myself. Helps me get through the day.

I'll post later. Filling this Blog Spot up!!!!!

If I get it all out, I feel better.

Thursday.

Tonight is HUGE. After being together with my hubby for 8 years, we're stepping forward & seeing a therapist. Her name is Nora. It's scary. It's exciting. It's huge. Two weeks ago, we had a huge blow out. Afterwards, it was important to us both, that we agreed to seek help from an outside source. We made the appointment, and since then, it's been quiet..... and peaceful at home. It's a big step. Opening up.
Funny... Fred and I are so intense. When we connect, we're the most affectionate couple in the world. There's never a moment that we're not holding each other, or touching each other... in some way. BUT, when we have conflict, it's intense - but to the other extreme. It's difficult, and we can't seem to find common ground. We both feel the way we feel, and find it hard to understand the other's point of view. Anyway, the bottom line is - we are seeing someone tonight. AND, I look forward to it very much.

Also, we are together all the time. It's great. If I could choose only one person to spend all of my free time with, it would be him. However, since we spent so many years isolating ourselves from the outside world, we've come to this place in our life where we wish we had more friends. Seems all the friends I have had, are like a snowstorm. They come into my life, bright and pure, and settle in for awhile. Then, as time passes, they begin to fade. And, like snow... one day comes, the sun rises, and they're gone. *Shrugs. SO, maybe we need to join a group, get out there, open our circle up a little more....
We talk about it. He has some great stories. I've heard them all (or at least most of them). I still think they're fun to listen to. I have stories too. He's heard mine 1,000 times. He's very sweet. I can tell him the same thing over and over again - and he listens, like he's never heard it before. BUT, it would be nice to share with other's. Does that make sense? See... look at me know. I can't slow down. Maybe it's the 6 cups of coffee... maybe I have too much to say... in general... who knows.

This is my blog. This is my one place. This is me. My life.