Sunday, May 22, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
"Erin, You have fans who look forward to a peek into your journey. Like a reality show we must tune into or we flip for missing an episode. Your are my reality show and I tune in every evening to catch a glimpse. But I don't miss your show, I'm tuned in but all I see too often are reruns. Seems as if the shows producer only runs a show when she feels like it. Please don't tease your fans with 2, 3 or 4 posts in a day, and then just 1 in a week. How about 3 a week? If you can't do it everyday? Thank You"
No, Thank you. I will most definitely consider the fact that people stumble upon my blog and read on. I do appreciate that, really. I have been neglecting my blog because sometimes I am at a loss, OR, sometimes I just don't feel like it... It's been a rough few months, so sometimes at the end of the day I don't care to re-live my experiences. Sometimes I can't wait to share... it varies from day to day.
Here's the thing. My son in getting ready to move in with his Dad (in about 5 weeks). I am saddened by this in ways that I cannot express in words. It often consumes me. SO, during times like this, I close up and keep things to myself. It's when I eventually come to grips with things that I'm able to express myself better.... so, there's a big one for me. And, out it comes. My son is moving, and it sucks. I harbour feelings that make me feel bad, and well, I'm beginning to realize that these feelings are "okay" and fairly "natural". We'll see how it goes. I am basically powerless over this move. He's almost 17.
My own personal journey within myself is going well otherwise. I'm doing things each and every day that remind me that I can accomplish my goals. I am actually pretty damn strong willed. I am proud of that. I'm losing weight, getting in better shape, and feeling better about myself than I have for years and years. I'm 43 and not in the best physical shape, but I'm getting there, and I'm not giving up for anything. I have this great group of supportive people in my life, too. My husband prepares all my meals for me. He weighs and measures everything to assure that I stick exactly to the program to gain incredible results. He loved me at my heaviest, and he loves me just the same with each and every pound I lose. This program.... It's working. I've lost 22 lbs so far. Then, I have my friends and my co-workers. They are always paying me compliments and encouraging me to continue with this program. My kids are dear, and give me "skinny hugs", they make it nice. It's been a really positive change in my life and I'm taking it all the way. yay for me.
My job is good. I am doing a lot of new and different things since my move, and I really like it. I am still so very grateful for ever landing this job. I don't forget where I came from. And, I won't lose focus on where I want to be. It's a journey....that's how I see it. Life. I'm living it.
I have some health issues I'm actually going to deal with after suffering in pain for about 10 years. With the help of my husband (making the initial call for me) I will be taking care of this, and hopefully living a better, more comfortable, less painful life within the next month or so. I'm seeing a doctor next Friday. I'm scared to pieces, but I've come to realize and accept that this is something that needs to be treated with surgery, and won't get better on it's own. I'm putting myself out there and taking care of business... finally. Holy shit, I'm damn frightened.... I will be okay.
This weekend I will also see many family members that I haven't seen since last October. I'm so happy and looking forward to this weekend. My Aunt Suzie is marrying a great guy who loves her to the moon. I can't wait to be a part of this. I know I should bring tissues. And, I can't wait to visit with my Granny, and the other family members that I adore. It will be great. Wow, one of my Aunts that will be there I haven't seen in I have no idea how many years. The more I think about this, the more excited I feel. I think the last time I saw her was 10 years ago at my wedding. Could it be? I think so.
There has been a lot going on. And yes, I am guilty of not keeping up. I need to get on the ball and quit turning the other cheek.
Oh, this weekend I DO plan on taking a lot of pictures. Oh, and I hope to grab a hold of my hubby and get him to take some fun pictures of me! I might bring some fun stuff to dress up in!! I just bought a great pair of thigh highs... hmmmmmmm, I'm packing some good stuff!!!!! The last photo shoot we had was 22 lbs ago. I am definitely not going to be shy for the camera this time!!!!
So, on to a 4 day weekend. Thank you for inspiring me to get back on track a little with my blog. I am not a very exciting reality show, but I do appreciate that people are actually interested in reading what I have to say.
Hell, maybe I'll even blog more later. Once you get the brain flowing, I tend to carry on and on and on. :)
Peace.
No, Thank you. I will most definitely consider the fact that people stumble upon my blog and read on. I do appreciate that, really. I have been neglecting my blog because sometimes I am at a loss, OR, sometimes I just don't feel like it... It's been a rough few months, so sometimes at the end of the day I don't care to re-live my experiences. Sometimes I can't wait to share... it varies from day to day.
Here's the thing. My son in getting ready to move in with his Dad (in about 5 weeks). I am saddened by this in ways that I cannot express in words. It often consumes me. SO, during times like this, I close up and keep things to myself. It's when I eventually come to grips with things that I'm able to express myself better.... so, there's a big one for me. And, out it comes. My son is moving, and it sucks. I harbour feelings that make me feel bad, and well, I'm beginning to realize that these feelings are "okay" and fairly "natural". We'll see how it goes. I am basically powerless over this move. He's almost 17.
My own personal journey within myself is going well otherwise. I'm doing things each and every day that remind me that I can accomplish my goals. I am actually pretty damn strong willed. I am proud of that. I'm losing weight, getting in better shape, and feeling better about myself than I have for years and years. I'm 43 and not in the best physical shape, but I'm getting there, and I'm not giving up for anything. I have this great group of supportive people in my life, too. My husband prepares all my meals for me. He weighs and measures everything to assure that I stick exactly to the program to gain incredible results. He loved me at my heaviest, and he loves me just the same with each and every pound I lose. This program.... It's working. I've lost 22 lbs so far. Then, I have my friends and my co-workers. They are always paying me compliments and encouraging me to continue with this program. My kids are dear, and give me "skinny hugs", they make it nice. It's been a really positive change in my life and I'm taking it all the way. yay for me.
My job is good. I am doing a lot of new and different things since my move, and I really like it. I am still so very grateful for ever landing this job. I don't forget where I came from. And, I won't lose focus on where I want to be. It's a journey....that's how I see it. Life. I'm living it.
I have some health issues I'm actually going to deal with after suffering in pain for about 10 years. With the help of my husband (making the initial call for me) I will be taking care of this, and hopefully living a better, more comfortable, less painful life within the next month or so. I'm seeing a doctor next Friday. I'm scared to pieces, but I've come to realize and accept that this is something that needs to be treated with surgery, and won't get better on it's own. I'm putting myself out there and taking care of business... finally. Holy shit, I'm damn frightened.... I will be okay.
This weekend I will also see many family members that I haven't seen since last October. I'm so happy and looking forward to this weekend. My Aunt Suzie is marrying a great guy who loves her to the moon. I can't wait to be a part of this. I know I should bring tissues. And, I can't wait to visit with my Granny, and the other family members that I adore. It will be great. Wow, one of my Aunts that will be there I haven't seen in I have no idea how many years. The more I think about this, the more excited I feel. I think the last time I saw her was 10 years ago at my wedding. Could it be? I think so.
There has been a lot going on. And yes, I am guilty of not keeping up. I need to get on the ball and quit turning the other cheek.
Oh, this weekend I DO plan on taking a lot of pictures. Oh, and I hope to grab a hold of my hubby and get him to take some fun pictures of me! I might bring some fun stuff to dress up in!! I just bought a great pair of thigh highs... hmmmmmmm, I'm packing some good stuff!!!!! The last photo shoot we had was 22 lbs ago. I am definitely not going to be shy for the camera this time!!!!
So, on to a 4 day weekend. Thank you for inspiring me to get back on track a little with my blog. I am not a very exciting reality show, but I do appreciate that people are actually interested in reading what I have to say.
Hell, maybe I'll even blog more later. Once you get the brain flowing, I tend to carry on and on and on. :)
Peace.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Sunday, rainy sunday...
Hello Sunday. Mother nature has brought us some rain, and has brought me some cramps and stuff, too.... Nothing like being a woman. ugh... I don't feel well. :(
It's just that way. I will suffer through the pain today and tomorrow, and then hopefully I will feel totally back to normal by Wednesday. BLAH!!!!!!!!!!
This weekend definitely has not been very exciting, BUT I did get a lot accomplished. Hopefully today, with the help of my other half, and the more creative mind in the house, I will complete my shoe room project. :) It will make such a difference for me! I look forward to getting that done.
I don't have a lot to say this morning. Just feeling icky.
Oh, Dad is home from the hospital, and that's a great thing. However, it seems as though he won't be traveling to Mass. with us for the wedding. I hate that. I look forward to the day he's feeling all better. It's been a terrible few weeks for him. Even Mom hasn't gotten completely better. I hate that for her as well. :(
Happy Sunday.
Maybe I'll post something later :) Especially if my project is finished. I will post pictures.
It's just that way. I will suffer through the pain today and tomorrow, and then hopefully I will feel totally back to normal by Wednesday. BLAH!!!!!!!!!!
This weekend definitely has not been very exciting, BUT I did get a lot accomplished. Hopefully today, with the help of my other half, and the more creative mind in the house, I will complete my shoe room project. :) It will make such a difference for me! I look forward to getting that done.
I don't have a lot to say this morning. Just feeling icky.
Oh, Dad is home from the hospital, and that's a great thing. However, it seems as though he won't be traveling to Mass. with us for the wedding. I hate that. I look forward to the day he's feeling all better. It's been a terrible few weeks for him. Even Mom hasn't gotten completely better. I hate that for her as well. :(
Happy Sunday.
Maybe I'll post something later :) Especially if my project is finished. I will post pictures.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Monday
Back by popular demand.
It's Monday.
My Dad is in Princeton Medical Center. He had pneumonia. I'm frightened and upset and worried about him. I went to see him in the hospital this afternoon and he looked terrible. I sat with him for about an hour. I wanted to burst out crying, but I stayed strong and kept a good smile and stuff on my face. The moment my feet touched the outside of his door the tears just fell, like crazy... I couldn't help it. I'm very sad about him being so sick. I know he's scared. I hate that.
My throat is killing me. My glands are swollen. :( I don't feel really well.
My Mom is sick. She is now on medication, thank goodness. She needs to be well so she can take care of Dad. It's just awful when both people are sick :(
I'm frustrated. I want to be the best person I can be, but it seems like I'm not doing so well with that. I don't feel happy and cheerful tonight. I wish I did.
I'm going to post my Monday's question, then I'm going to try to get some sleep.
Week 8 begins. I'm 20 lbs down. I'm still motivated and going strong. I am exercising and keeping a vision of where I want to be. It makes a huge difference in reaching my goal.
It's Monday.
My Dad is in Princeton Medical Center. He had pneumonia. I'm frightened and upset and worried about him. I went to see him in the hospital this afternoon and he looked terrible. I sat with him for about an hour. I wanted to burst out crying, but I stayed strong and kept a good smile and stuff on my face. The moment my feet touched the outside of his door the tears just fell, like crazy... I couldn't help it. I'm very sad about him being so sick. I know he's scared. I hate that.
My throat is killing me. My glands are swollen. :( I don't feel really well.
My Mom is sick. She is now on medication, thank goodness. She needs to be well so she can take care of Dad. It's just awful when both people are sick :(
I'm frustrated. I want to be the best person I can be, but it seems like I'm not doing so well with that. I don't feel happy and cheerful tonight. I wish I did.
I'm going to post my Monday's question, then I'm going to try to get some sleep.
Week 8 begins. I'm 20 lbs down. I'm still motivated and going strong. I am exercising and keeping a vision of where I want to be. It makes a huge difference in reaching my goal.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Thursday....
Where on earth has this week gone? I keep thinking about how on Friday I'm going to E-Town and then Harrisburg on Saturday... and tomorrow is Friday!!!!
What a week it's been.
Brooke has hit her all time low, but on a positive note it seems she's coming back up. I am so happy about that, and I actually feel a little peace within the house and within my heart. She is my only daughter, my world. I have really been having a difficult time seeing her struggle the way she's been. It kills me inside. I feel like this is the time of her life that things are fun and easy, but thinking back, it wasn't that for me, so naturally, why would it be that for her? Being a teenage girl is so complicated and different than anyone who hasn't been there could ever imagine. I sat with her the other night and I opened up to her more than I ever have before. We connected on levels that I didn't expect to happen at this point in time, or at this age of her life. She totally was in tune with what I was saying, and I hope to god I made some sort of impact on her present situation in life.... I pray for her now more than ever, and I will continue to do so. I never believed in the power of prayer quite as much as I do today. I'm learning through things about myself right now through her struggles, and I'm embracing the changes with her. That has to mean something.
Freddy, Mara, and the kids left today. They are well into their journey back to Georgia. They spent the last 7 months up here and have gone through a lot of new experiences while they were here. They had their own place for the first time as a family, they were rich, they were poor. In the end, they learned that it takes constant hard team work and effort to reach their basic goals in life... and, nothing comes easy. They will go back to where they are most comfortable now, and hopefully with that, they will bring some knowledge from their experience here. Like I have said before, everything happens for a reason. We sometimes don't know what that reason is until years later, but I'm hopeful that they will figure it all out. Those kids are precious, and definitely worth working hard for to create a bright, happy, and healthy future for.
A lot going on at work again this week. The days flew by in the blink of an eye.
I enjoyed my time with Ilyn and our girl talk. She is my best friend at work. I can share anything and everything with her and I can do it knowing that I won't be judged at all. How many people can say the same thing about a special friend they have? I think it's rare, but very special. I count myself as very fortunate to have her in my life.
I'm doing really well with my new eating lifestyle. I have fallen short on the exercise this week, but considering all of the event's that took place this week, I'm not going to hard on myself at all. With a bunch of Doctor's appointments, cheer meetings, the things with Freddy and Brooke going on, work and life.. it's been a tough week to put that time aside for myself. Monday, I am back on the gym visits.. I really look forward to it.
Peace.
What a week it's been.
Brooke has hit her all time low, but on a positive note it seems she's coming back up. I am so happy about that, and I actually feel a little peace within the house and within my heart. She is my only daughter, my world. I have really been having a difficult time seeing her struggle the way she's been. It kills me inside. I feel like this is the time of her life that things are fun and easy, but thinking back, it wasn't that for me, so naturally, why would it be that for her? Being a teenage girl is so complicated and different than anyone who hasn't been there could ever imagine. I sat with her the other night and I opened up to her more than I ever have before. We connected on levels that I didn't expect to happen at this point in time, or at this age of her life. She totally was in tune with what I was saying, and I hope to god I made some sort of impact on her present situation in life.... I pray for her now more than ever, and I will continue to do so. I never believed in the power of prayer quite as much as I do today. I'm learning through things about myself right now through her struggles, and I'm embracing the changes with her. That has to mean something.
Freddy, Mara, and the kids left today. They are well into their journey back to Georgia. They spent the last 7 months up here and have gone through a lot of new experiences while they were here. They had their own place for the first time as a family, they were rich, they were poor. In the end, they learned that it takes constant hard team work and effort to reach their basic goals in life... and, nothing comes easy. They will go back to where they are most comfortable now, and hopefully with that, they will bring some knowledge from their experience here. Like I have said before, everything happens for a reason. We sometimes don't know what that reason is until years later, but I'm hopeful that they will figure it all out. Those kids are precious, and definitely worth working hard for to create a bright, happy, and healthy future for.
A lot going on at work again this week. The days flew by in the blink of an eye.
I enjoyed my time with Ilyn and our girl talk. She is my best friend at work. I can share anything and everything with her and I can do it knowing that I won't be judged at all. How many people can say the same thing about a special friend they have? I think it's rare, but very special. I count myself as very fortunate to have her in my life.
I'm doing really well with my new eating lifestyle. I have fallen short on the exercise this week, but considering all of the event's that took place this week, I'm not going to hard on myself at all. With a bunch of Doctor's appointments, cheer meetings, the things with Freddy and Brooke going on, work and life.. it's been a tough week to put that time aside for myself. Monday, I am back on the gym visits.. I really look forward to it.
Peace.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Hi.....
My name is Erin and tonight was a terrible night and a disaster...
The polic came to my home. Two of them. My family is in crisis.
We have a teen that we adore who is now in the hospital because of poor choices and cries for help. I pray that she will be okay.
My children have gone for the night to stay with at their uncle's house. My daugher is suffering from depression and she needs help. I am so upset and cried in my son's arms, as he cried with me.
I'm scared and I'm confused.
I want to be the best that I can be, and I have a lot to learn. Life isn't easy right now and I'm sick over the fact that I can't make it better for everyone.
Tonight was a huge eye opener. My family, although I love them, including myself, is highly dysfunctional. We need help. We're all going to see a therapist on Tuesday. It is not an option.
My life at this very moment feels like it's crumbling apart.....
Dear god please help me find the answers. Help me to get through this. I want the people I love to be safe and sound. I will do whatever it takes, I mean it. Whatever I need to do to help make things right... Please god help me.
My name is Erin and tonight was a terrible night and a disaster...
The polic came to my home. Two of them. My family is in crisis.
We have a teen that we adore who is now in the hospital because of poor choices and cries for help. I pray that she will be okay.
My children have gone for the night to stay with at their uncle's house. My daugher is suffering from depression and she needs help. I am so upset and cried in my son's arms, as he cried with me.
I'm scared and I'm confused.
I want to be the best that I can be, and I have a lot to learn. Life isn't easy right now and I'm sick over the fact that I can't make it better for everyone.
Tonight was a huge eye opener. My family, although I love them, including myself, is highly dysfunctional. We need help. We're all going to see a therapist on Tuesday. It is not an option.
My life at this very moment feels like it's crumbling apart.....
Dear god please help me find the answers. Help me to get through this. I want the people I love to be safe and sound. I will do whatever it takes, I mean it. Whatever I need to do to help make things right... Please god help me.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Tuesday
The sun wasn't shining very much today and it was a little chilly... and I thought it was Wednesday most of the day. For some reason, it was also a fairly emotionally day. I'm not sure why. Some days are just that way I suppose.
My diet. I'm doing fantastic if I do say so myself. I've been doing this new eating program for 4 entire weeks, and I'm 2 days into my 5th week and I've lost 12.8 lbs. I feel a lot better already. I'm bound and determined to get in a sexy bikini this summer :) And, I am looking forward to the two weddings I have to attend in May and June. In May I will go to a family weddings, and I'll see family members that I haven't seen in a long time. That should be really fun. I love my family so much and I'm so excited for my Aunt, who will be marrying the man of her dreams. I'm so happy for her. And then, in June I'll be attending my best friend's daughter's wedding. They will be getting married on a beach in Maryland. I look forward to being there for their celebration.
I need a pedicure. I haven't had one yet this year. I think I might treat myself this weekend. Maybe I'll have a nice Saturday morning "me" morning. I deserve it :)
My diet. I'm doing fantastic if I do say so myself. I've been doing this new eating program for 4 entire weeks, and I'm 2 days into my 5th week and I've lost 12.8 lbs. I feel a lot better already. I'm bound and determined to get in a sexy bikini this summer :) And, I am looking forward to the two weddings I have to attend in May and June. In May I will go to a family weddings, and I'll see family members that I haven't seen in a long time. That should be really fun. I love my family so much and I'm so excited for my Aunt, who will be marrying the man of her dreams. I'm so happy for her. And then, in June I'll be attending my best friend's daughter's wedding. They will be getting married on a beach in Maryland. I look forward to being there for their celebration.
I need a pedicure. I haven't had one yet this year. I think I might treat myself this weekend. Maybe I'll have a nice Saturday morning "me" morning. I deserve it :)
Monday, April 18, 2011
Busy day. Out of the ordinary, and different, but really good... on different levels.
Took the kids to the mall tonight. I rarely get time with them anymore. Teens limit their time with Mommy. It was nice :)
Life is interesting. It flies by in a flash, and if you blink, you miss a lot of good stuff. I want to savor more moments in my life. It's important.
Took the kids to the mall tonight. I rarely get time with them anymore. Teens limit their time with Mommy. It was nice :)
Life is interesting. It flies by in a flash, and if you blink, you miss a lot of good stuff. I want to savor more moments in my life. It's important.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
I've been mentally and emotionally unavailable to blog for the past week...
sorry.
Now, I'm climbing back into it :) And, although I might still be mentally checked out(lol) I am emotionally well enough to blog. I have had some serious ass kickings over the past few weeks, months..
And then there's my boy. Who, again has some plans of moving, and thinks it's just that easy to do. He has no idea. It's not as simple as it may seem. It really isn't.... *sigh
I'll blog later. I can't do it now. I'm trying to wrap my head around some things right now over this Brandon thing.
sorry.
Now, I'm climbing back into it :) And, although I might still be mentally checked out(lol) I am emotionally well enough to blog. I have had some serious ass kickings over the past few weeks, months..
And then there's my boy. Who, again has some plans of moving, and thinks it's just that easy to do. He has no idea. It's not as simple as it may seem. It really isn't.... *sigh
I'll blog later. I can't do it now. I'm trying to wrap my head around some things right now over this Brandon thing.
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