What a day. What a long, difficult day. Is it almost 5:00???? *sigh
Sometimes I feel like saying "F you" out loud. To everyone. Seriously. I think to myself... If only I could just tell everyone that crosses my path, exactly what I think of them.... but I don't. And, it's probably a good thing. Because, usually.. the feelings pass. Ok, well sometimes.. But you know, I wish I wasn't such a pushover. I am. I wish I wasn't.
*Deep breath
I'm ok. Just a tough day.
I had lunch with Mom. It was very nice. She couldn't talk about the weekend without falling apart, and crying. Good crying. It was very emotional. She is very emotional.. I am too. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. :)
Something about the weekend. This whole aging process. It's sometimes overwhelming. I have always been one of the "babies" in the family. I still am, to a degree. I sit there and look at all of these faces, of the people in my family.. and I am amazed. So many changes. So many new lines, wrinkles, a few extra pounds, here... there.... less hair, gray hair.. hair in places there was never hair (lol).... and it's amazing to me. This whole process we go through - grow through. The lives, the love, the family I have always been a part of. Where has time gone? How has it gotten away from us so quickly? I can't believe it sometimes. It is very emotional. Hard to think about, at times.
Visits have gone from every few months, to once a year - at best. Sad. And life isn't slowing down. It actually seems like it's moving along faster. And honestly, I struggle with this whole process. It's strange. And right now, I'm not making enough sense to continue with this thought process....
I know what I'm feeling. And thinking. It's just difficult to make sense of it in writing..... for now.
