Totally broken and exhausted......

-
I'm so headed there!!!! So what if I can hardly walk when I leave the gym. LOL

Happy Wednesday. I am almost to the end, and I'm gonna make it. I had a crappy start to my day, but it worked out okay, and I'm home relaxing.

Survivor is on tonight. I hope I don't fall asleep at the end like I did last week. I've been really pushing myself. Why not? I'm not doing anything else right now.

Wednesday...

Ugh.

I must make it through this day..

My relationship with "Gym"

I have a love/hate relationship with "Gym". I love seeing you, however, I sometimes hate the thought of going to you. When I'm with you, it's a challenge, but you make me feel so hot.. you even make me break a sweat almost in an instant.
When we part, I feel satisfied, but sore and achy. However, I miss you almost right away. Oh "Gym", how I long to have a lasting, meaningful relationship with you. I am committed to you, and I hope we last for a long time. I need you to be patient, but keep on my ass, ya hear me? Because I truly need you in my life. Without you, I wouldn't have the energy I need, and that's sad... Thank you, "Gym" for being in my life. :) You will be so proud of me in the near future, as you inspire me to keep going so I can be strong and sexy and full of life. Thank you for that.

-----------------------------------------

So, that's the hot news in my life. My new relationship with "Gym".

I have been really focused and really doing well. Today I pushed myself to the limit. I went in not wanting to even get started, but once I did, I couldn't stop. I did my cardio like a champ, and I did my 30 minutes on a major incline, max - 10, for almost the whole workout. It's not easy, and I was dripping wet, but it was so great and felt so satisfying. I really enjoyed myself.

After that, I did my weight machines. I did all of the arm machines and most of the leg ones. Today I added 2 machines to my workout. That was a huge accomplishment. I was tired, but I kept going. I sometimes focus on my goal to keep myself motivated. It seems to really make a difference. This summer I want to feel like I'd rather be in my swimsuit, or totally naked, over wearing clothes. I can be a real free spirit, and I have really tall fences in my back yard, and a great pool. :) Last year I went nude a few times, but I was not feeling the way I wanted. This year will be a different story.

When I go to Bermuda, I want to swim naked in the beautiful blue sea. I want to feel the water all through my body, and love every second of it. On my cruise I want to wake up with a ton of energy, and never feel weighed down by heavy meals. I would love to get up early and walk the track on the top of the ship, then go into the fitness center and sit in the hot tub, and feel amazing. Of course I'll be feeling for the jets, and I'll place myself over it as I always do. :) lol

I am confident that I will follow through and take this all the way. I only live once, I have to make it count. No better time than the present. I'm on the job!

And, while I'm on the subject, I want to wear a crochet bikini. AND, feel sexy in it. I am totally serious. I also want to wear some really cute cut off jean shorts, nice short ones. Of course I will keep it classy, when I have to (smile).

So, there you are.... that's where I am tonight, in my mind. :)

Peace.

What a great workout!!!!!! I am still feeling it in a big way!!!! Weak and a little shaky, but all for a good cause. I'm gonna be soooo bootylicious!!!!!! It's definitely not easy, but it's worth each and every minute that I'm investing in this body of mine. When I'm finally at my goal, I'm going to wear the cutest, most sexy bikini possible!!!!!

Work was light today, and I was okay with that. With my job, I'm either really busy with crazy deadlines, OR, it's peaceful and rather quiet. I wouldn't mind another quiet weekend!!!!!

I got home tonight and noticed the van wasn't here. Freddy's car is broken down again. I hope it's nothing major. I have to get up early enough to be ready to take Fred to work in the morning. I'm doing well with getting up now that I have more energy and am eating better. I just have to get out the door by 7:45. I'm totally a morning person, once I get startd!!!!!

So, it looks like we're going to E-town this weekend. I love spending time with my best girlfriend. She is such an incredible friend and I love her very much!!!! I hope we find something fun to do. If it's not too cold out, we may check out the caves that we bought tickets for. I hope that I can go in. I am so scared.... but want to see it really badly.

I'm a little exhausted tonight.

I had all these things I wanted to blog about but for some reason I have just drawn a blank, I will come back to it if I remember what it all was.

Monday's Thought Provoking Question

Hello

It's Sunday night and I am completely exhausted!!!!

I worked my booty off today. And, in the process, I learned something about myself..
I own WAY to many clothes. Oh my....
I thought I would organize some things in my closets, store some winter stuff, break out some spring clothes, etc..etc... I am beyond ridiculous about how much clothing I actually own. I am pretty confident that I could wear a different outfit each day for a year. AND, I am certain I could do the same with panties.
It literally took me all day to get things in order. I mean, seasonal, colors, types, work vs. casual vs. dressy vs. average...etc...
I know it may not sound like a lot of work, but it really was.
lol - hours and hours and hours. I have a lot of beautiful dresses, too! I can't wait to wear them this spring and summer!!!

This weekend was fairly uneventful. Brandon had Mike, Chris and John spend the night on Saturday, and Brooke was on the run with Tyler Friday and Saturday, and went to The Sixers game today with Haley and her parents. I told her to pay attention to how cool it was going to be to see the players. If you haven't gone to a pro basketball game, it's quite an experience to see. TALL... very very tall. They almost look fake. :)

Mom and Dad were supposed to come for Dinner tonight, but Dad wasn't feeling well. He's on a lot of medication, and has a pace maker, so I thought he would be all fixed up. Sometimes I worry about him. I hope he's okay. I'm glad we're only a few miles away from them, and I know they know we're always here if they need us.

I'm feeling really good. I can't believe how excited I actually am about going to the gym tomorrow after work. LOL. I've already put my gym bag in the car so if I'm in a rush tomorrow, I won't forget it. I think I'll go the same days this week. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. And, next week, if my hip is up and ready for it, I am going to take a spinning class. I'm gonna get my round booty in shape in no time. Sexy is back in town, so you better watch out!!!!!

Next weekend is already something I'm trying to figure out. We'll be getting together with Jimm and Monica, but we're not sure if we'll be going there or they'll be coming here. I'm always up for hitting the road, so we'll have to see what we all come up with. I had connected with someone who was going to be celebrating her Birthday at a Country Western Bar that will have a mechanical bull next Saturday, BUT, it turns out that it's way far, and not something we can do from here or from Jimm and Monica's. So, I'll have to tell her we can't make it. I don't know if I'll ever find the opportunity to ride a mechanical bull. Maybe it's for the best. I don't want to get hurt. Fred calls me "Grace"... He sorta teases me because I'm not the most graceful girl around.. but hey, I'm doing much much better. I will definitely keep my eyes out for a place to go with the bull, even if I just get to watch :)

I've been thinking a lot about heading out to the club sometime in the near future. I'm feeling a lot better since the winter is pretty much behind us, and I'm doing better things for myself. I'd love to go spend a weekend out there, and one night at the club. I am spreading the word to some of my girlfriends out in the Harrisburg area, and they all want to go. It would be nice to have us all in one place for a night again... those WERE the days. :) I miss my girltime so bad!

I can't believe it's almost April! March flew by like crazy. I am scared sometimes about how quickly time seems to be passing. I want to enjoy every day of it, so ... slow down!!!!

Not sure what I have in store for me this week at work. I hope it's a fairly good and productive week. I hope it will be sunny and warm sometime soon. I might watch the weather tonight to see what's going on. I miss spring. Sometimes, it goes from freezing cold to burning hot. I am not a fan of the hot hot summer.. so spring is something I love.. I hope we don't miss it this year.

Feeling good. Frisky naughty good. I love that. I have to keep those damn white carbs out of my life. I swear they cause me depression. As soon as I quit eating sugar and white carbs, I feel like a million bucks....

Everything else is going pretty well. I am still thinking about planning a party at the house. I think a poker party would be fun. I might be really daring and put out an open invite on facebook. Not to likely that 290 or so people would all show up... hmmmm, that would be crazy. I do want to open my social circle up a little more. Bring in a good mix of old friends, new friends, etc... that's my goal. Let's see how it goes!

I've slacked a little on my blogging. That is also something I need to pick up on a bit. I always have a lot to say, but lately I've been wrapped up in other things in life and haven't gotten the chance to sit down and throw my thoughts out on blogging... I miss it, therefore, I am back on it. I know there's a reason for it, and I so must do it.

I watched a little bit of that Napoleon Dynamite movie this morning. What a great way to start the day. It made me smile and laugh... However, there was a part of the movie that got to me. It's funny how music can affect us in life. Years can pass, and life moves along, and then you hear a song that you knew from years and years ago, and suddenly you are living in that moment. Happy, sad, good or bad, it comes right to the surface of the memory. For me, songs and scents are so powerful when it comes to jogging my memory. And, for anyone who knows me, I worry about losing the memory, and my mind... and when things come to me... it reminds me that I'm just fairly normal, and my brain is okay. Today I had one of those moments.

This laptop is so hot on my lap it's making me sweat. LOL.

So, there we have it. I may not have covered it all, what I did this whole weekend, but I sure did still have a lot to say.

Peace.

Sunday Morning

Wow... I got up, hopped on the scale, and saw an amazing loss. I have now reached a 7 pound weight loss in six days. I'm shocked, and proud at the same time. YAY me! I am truly working really hard at this, and although I've had a couple tough moments, I haven't had any major challenges. Whew.. week one is always the most difficult.

post more later....

Happy Friday

Hello and Happy Friday!!!

I had a decent week. Nothing major to say about it other than I totally kicked ass in the gym and on my diet! Yay me, and YAY to Fred who prepared each and every bit of food that went into my mouth. I am not, I repeat... I am NOT going off of this program until I reach the attainable goal I have set for myself in my head. I'm not exactly sure what the number will be on the scale, but I do know how I want to look.
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY for a huge success for me during my first week. Now, weekends are usually a little tough, but this is gonna be a breeze, I can feel it already.

Okay, again.... what's with this cold weather??? Last Sunday was the first day of spring. I'm not understanding this at all. :)

I am currently sitting on my couch with my snuggie on. I thought that I would actually be sitting out back looking at the pool at this point. Nope, it's just way too cold out for that!!!!

I'm excited to see what my numbers will be on Monday. I will post as soon I Monday comes. I'm definitely not trying to push time ahead, I'm just excited is all.

I've been thinking a lot about Long Island lately. I really do need to take a day trip there and check out my old home town. I can't get it out of my head lately. I know that means I need to go visit there for a day or so. Maybe I will call my Dad to see if he wants to ride out there with me for the day. That would be really nice. Then he could do his thing, and I could do mine while we're there, and we could visit with each other on the way there and the way back. Yes, that's what I'm going to do. I think I'll talk to him about it on Sunday.

What else? Work was fine this week. It was actually a little light on the work. I have everything caught up, and I'm all set and situated in my spot. It's really not a bad spot for me after all.

I got to visit a little with Maryfaith today during lunch. That was really nice. She is one of my very favorite people at Rider. We really confide in one another and share stories and stuff that I don't often share with other friends. I'm grateful to have her in my life.

What's up for the weekend? I'm really not sure right now.... but, I think it will be a nice weekend.
:)

Any good movies to watch?? I'm sort of in the mood for some good old love stories... Maybe I'll line some good one's up on Netflix and watch a marathon of them tonight, or soon. I love me some good older movies.... One that I really loved is called "While you were Sleeping"....... maybe that is on instant queue.

Thursday

Happy Thursday......

Is it winter again or something? It's absolutely freezing out!!!

Today was an okay day. A little weird, but in the end, it was okay......

It was really nice taking a break with the girls and getting out of the office for awhile. I had a moment where I was slightly uncomfortable at lunch, when they had some incredible desserts and I had to refrain. I struggled for a moment, but once I left I felt an incredible amount of accomplishment. Why on earth would I even want that crap in my body at this point when it takes so much effort to burn it off at the gym. I was proud of myself. And, by the time I got back to the office it was all behind me. A little bit of strength is all I really need. I made the joke at lunch that I couldn't eat the dessert when it was offered to me because I want to be able to wear my gold bikini with pride this summer. Such a bikini at the point doesn't exist, but I'll tell you what, it sure as hell will, as soon as I reach my goal, I am getting myself that damn bikini that I want. No, it may not be gold, but it sure will represent the swimsuit I am referring to that's keeping me motivated. Look out, I'm on a roll and I'm not giving up. Each Monday I will try to remember to post my weight loss for the week. Since I started this new journey on a Monday, I feel like that would be the best day to track my accomplishments.

I rocked it at the gym today. I set the bar pretty high, and I met the goals that I set. Knowing that I am not committed to the gym again until Monday made it easy for me to push myself a little. I really enjoy sweating, and going a little crazy with my exercise. When I leave that place, I feel like it was totally worth every moment I spent in there. It's all good. :)

Work wasn't overwhelming this week, and I'm happy about that. There's a lot of stuff going on in my office, and a lot of people are really up against some big deadlines and numbers. Me, well, I'm totally off the radar, so I am happy about that. It seems like someone is always in hot water. Just glad it's not me. I want to continue to do well in my position, and part of that is to not get all caught up in the politics of the job. I hate to be stuck in the middle, so I have just been keeping to myself a lot and watching things play themselves out. I really want to be promoted within the next year, so my long term goal is what I keep at the top of my mind. I know I can do this. So, with work, everything has been back to good, and I'm glad.....

I'm also trying to make some plans for the summer with my best girlfriend. We're going back and forth with idea of fun things that will keep us all happy and busy this summer. Last summer was okay, but I don't think it was as good as it could have been. The clock is ticking and life is moving along. If we don't live and grow, we become old. I refuse to go down that easily. I want to live and have a good time in life. I want memories...positive ones, that will go on with me in my future.

I am also looking forward to flextime. I am planning on doing a lot of 3:30 days. The only thing I have to do to make that possible is make it in by 8:00 a.m. I can do that! And, I am really looking forward to half day Fridays. I love getting out at noon and having some time to do what I like. It's usually shopping of some sort, but that's all good for me. If the pool is warm, and the days are sunny, I might lay out by the pool and make the best of it. We couldn't wait to have a pool, yet so often it wasn't utilized like it could have been.

And, I plan on having a few really good parties here this summer. I will extend the invitation to anyone who wants to come over and party with us. I think the largest party here, we had almost 30 people. It was a Halloween party. I want a summer party like that. We always have a lot of different types of people here which is really nice, and everyone enjoys getting to know each other. These are just some ideas I have.

I'm glad tomorrow is Friday. Even though this week has gone by really quickly, I am definitely ready for the weekend. There's no set plan, but I could use the time to relax and get things done at home. I am also hoping to get some things listed on ebay. I wish I still had some of the connections I had back when I was in business for myself. I had an endless supply of things to sell, and I made more money than I've ever made in all of my life. LOL .. I don't expect to ever have it that easy again with the economy and all, but it would be nice to see some extra cash rolling in again. I have a lot I want to do, so I need to start earning some play money!

So, that's about it for tonight. I am having terrible cramps but I am trying to ignore them for as long as I can before I have to take medicine. This is about the only time of the month I dread being a girl. UGH. Tomorrow is worse, so I better double up on the meds.

Peace..

It's raining, it's pouring, and I am cozy and comfy... Just about to watch Survivor!!!

Okay, now it's sleeting, and my little pink computer is having trouble with the keys, not that the two are related.... but, if you notice some letters missing in my text, that's why.

I didn't go to the gym tonight. I figured my body needed a break. I am completely worn out!!!!

I have lost 2 pounds since Monday, and I have not faltered on this new program at all. :)

This week is going by fast, I can't even believe tomorrow is Thursday!!!!!!!

What to do for the weekend?????

I have a lot that I'd like to blog tonight, but the keys on my computer are really messed up. I think I need to switch to my other coputer!! Be back soon

Okay, Let's be brutally honest...

Life isn't easy. It's not something that just happens, and everything works out the way we want it to. It's hard work, it means we need to be dedicated, have a plan.... make a list, have priorities.. and not give up. If life was just easy, it would not in my opinion, be well, life........ This journey is different for us all.. and let's be brutally honest, it's a constant personal challenge.

Here is what I am currently facing in my journey:

My son. He's absolutely fabulous, but, he's not living up to his potential. He does fair in school, but he's often late. He has a bedroom that smells like a men's locker room, and he rarely keeps it clean. Sometimes it even scares me. I wonder if something has died in his room, or if a monster will slide out from under the bed and get me when I'm not looking.
He's not very physically active. He spends much of his free time entertaining himself on XBox live. He loves it, but it doesn't help him stay in shape. He needs to lose weight, it's beginning to bother him, I can tell. So, he's getting on track and starting a new program with me. He'll do well, but it will definitely take some effort and dedication. He needs to focus more, get more sleep... and, he needs to take care of his braces, so he isn't on the 20 year plan. This is my son.... I need to follow up more with him to help keep him on track, to be the best he can be, for him. Then, he has a chore. Not a list of them... just one. He needs to take the trash out. He's lazy about it, and he has to start paying more attention to it. I will be staying on him so he can learn to be more consistent. It's important. I love him... he's my world.

My Daughter. She is a handful. She's 14 years old going on 24. It's beginning to scare me just how boy crazy she is, and how she feels like she's in love with this one boy she's been crazy about for a long time. She's dong terrible in school, and her idea of going to school is all about drama with friends, and socializing with everyone. It's more important to her that her hair is done, and not her homework. It's out of control, and I realize that I have to put the breaks on it, and do a lot of follow up, and checking her stuff. She's a beautiful girl, but she is way beyond her time... and she wants to go and go, and leaves a mess behind. She is loving, but she has a side to her that sometimes makes me wonder who the heck she thinks she is. She needs to get her attitude in check, and start to think about how her behavior will affect her future. At 14, many kids don't think of the future, they are caught in today... and yet, the future is so important. I need to be a better role model for her and guide her the best that I can. It's not easy, but I have to get her in line before it's too late. And, right now, it's not too late. I will be making some changes within myself, so I can help her to grow up safe, and happy. She can't keep going on like she's been, and it's my job to make sure it happens. I love her... she's my world.

Me. I'm 43 and somehow over time, I have put on more weight than I could ever possibly feel comfortable with. I'm tried, I ave curves on top of curves, and I am finding that my clothes aren't looking or feeling the way I'd like them to. I hate to see myself in the mirror. Sometimes I look at myself and I wonder.. and ask, "What the hell happened"? It's affected me on so many levels, and I know I don't want to feel this way anymore. I have started a weight loss plan, and I've joined the gym, and have used it 2 days in a row since starting. I want to live a healthier lifestyle, and I want to feel damn sexy again, like I used to. I want to wake up with the energy I had a few years ago, and I don't want to feel so bad about myself that at times, I don't even want to leave the house and face the world.
I need to be a better Mother to my children, and I want them to thrive. I have been failing them lately, wrapped up in my own issues, and my own shot comings. It stops now. I will make some really positive changes, and I will influence them by my actions, not just my words. I will not fail, but I will fall down every now and then. I am not perfect, but I also have not been living up to my potential. Change is in the air... and I am there. It's not negotiable, it's just the way it's going to be. I will continue to be kind, and loving, and I will not raise my voice, or speak with mean and angry words, but I am seriously going to buckle down and make some serious changes, and keep a positive attitude, the very best I can. I will be accountable, and I will make sure that my children will be accountable for their actions, and their behavior. It's all going to be good, but, it's going to be work.... but, it's worth it, we're all worth it.

Life. It doesn't just come up roses and sunshine every single day. Sometimes it's cold, rainy, and miserable.... and then, the sun comes out and the warmth warms our souls. I am headed to that warm and sunny place, but it's going to take time, dedication, and I'm going to do it with my eyes and my heart, wide open.

This is my life. My journey. It's not the same as anyone else's, as we are all different people, with different stories.

Head up, and move forward. It's a process...a learning, growing..loving, process.....

Thank you for reading my blog posts. I appreciate it, because I am just a regular girl trying to live a decent and fulfilling life.

Monday at the Gym...

So, I joined the gym at work after having the opportunity to do so for the past 6 years and not taking advantage of it.

It was fantastic! I had a really great, and successful workout. I also have a wonderful partner, Lyndsey. We had such a nice time. I was sweating and soaked, but I felt so good. Almost like the days in my early 20's when I used to go faithfully to the gym. I am not going to give up. I plan on pressing on with this challenge from now on. My goal is to make it to the gym 3 days a week, and to do something physical at least once on the weekends......

I am not sure how much weight I want to lose, or how long it will take, but today starts my new Michael Thurmond diet, and my new workout program. There's no way this won't work for me unless I totally give up, and I will not do that. No how, no way.....And, I am excited and ready to take this on!!!

Other than all that, today was okay. I was really tired going into it, but somehow I perked up during the course of the day. Monday's are usually pretty tough. Especially after a weekend away.

Monday's Thought Provoking Question....

Monday blues.......

Strike a pose....

Happy and excited for our weekend away

Self Portrait of us.

Relaxing before a long night of gambling

My Best Friends

And what a weekend it was.....

Just got home from our weekend in Atlantic City. What a weekend! Lot's of slot machine playing, and quite a bit of drinking.... but not at the same time!

I have some pictures to post, but I am ashamed to say, I did no picture taking :(

I am so disappointed that I didn't use my camera this weekend. UGH!!!!!!

It's been a long day, so I won't be posting a whole lot, but I will go over the weekend.....

Friday. Went over to Marina, checked Jimm and Monica in, went to their room, hide a couple of dirty magazines for Jimm to find in his "porn search", went down to the casino, played a fun game that with my first 50 cent spin I won 280 bucks. YAY! Nice start to a great weekend.....
Played there for a bit, went to eat at Marina's restaurant... and on to Taj...

Checked in at Taj. We got a room in the new Chairman's tower, so I was thrilled!!!! Got changed, freshened up, and went down to the Casino. Played and played until Jimm and Monica arrived, then played some more.... until, well..... like 3 a.m.

Saturday:
Woke up at 10:45 a.m.!!!! YAY!!! I never ever sleep in like that. Considering the time I went to bed, I felt lucky to have gotten that sleep. But, for what ever reason, I had a brain damaging head ache! But, we had to check out. So, we got ready, packed up, and went to Absecon to meet Jimm and Monica at Denny's for Breakfast. :) Love them.... When we arrived, Monica was at the crane game winning one ball after the other for a bunch of little kids at the Restaurant. Good thing this crane game was play til you win, or she'd of gone flat broke.. lol! Breakfast was fabulous. I mean that. I have been dreaming of a delicious waffle for like 2 weeks, and I finally had one. Since I am going on a really strict diet starting tomorrow, it was the last opportunity for me to have a waffle for a long time. IT WAS WELL WORTH WAITING FOR! :)

Then, off to Passport... with still, a massive head ache.
Unpacked, ran back and forth to Jimm and Monica's room.. then they all went to the flea market, and I stayed in so I could lay down and try to feel better. Thank goodness Monica had medicine for me. Did I mention that I love that girl? :) It took a long time, but it finally helped... then the group returned and I felt a little better.
Fred and I ran to the store to get beer and more wine, and now Monica wasn't feeling well. Poor Monica. She was having trouble with her tummy. We got back and she seemed to be feeling better. Thank goodness. I immediately opened a single bottle of wine (from a mini 4 pack) and drank it down. I really love Pinot.
We all got ready and hot the road. Went to The Black Cat Bar and Grill, they all played pool, we had a few drinks, and back to the room!

Okay... the rest for later..

I have to take a break.

Six of us playing poker.
I'm the only girl, out 3rd. Ugh!
At least I only lost 10 bucks! LoL!

Well, today wasn't much better than yesterday, but it sure makes me look that much more forward to hitting the road and getting the heck out of town! LOL

I did do a lot of laundry, cleaning, and stuff around the house today. woooohooo fun fun fun!!! It definitely needed to get done.

Now, I'm sitting on the couch looking out the window and I can't believe it's almost 7 p.m. and it's not dark yet! YAY! Spring is really coming. I can't wait!!!!!!

I need a haircut. My hair is a bit fried from the highlights. Maybe I'll make an appointment for Thursday, we'll see. I want to grow my hair longer, but it's way dry right now and definitely needs a trim. If I don't get it trimmed I will soon look as though I have horse hair.

Back to work tomorrow. BUT, it will be a very short week for me. I am so ready for a break.

Happy Spring forward!!!!!

Whew... what a day!

Okay, I just typed an entire blog post and just like that... it went blank!!!!!!!!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

I'm not retyping that again! NOOOOO way.

But, the bottom line is this...

Next Friday can't come soon enough. Today was such a non weekend feeling day. It was completely exhausting, and we ran and ran until about 7:30 p.m. when we finally got a chance to catch our breath and sit down for our first meal.

Freddy is happy
Brandon is happy
Mike is happy
Brooke is happy
Tyler is happy..

And, we are EXHAUSTED! I'm in my comfy pants, and I have one more taxi ride to do, and that's to go pick Brookie up when I feel like going out again! lol

I did get my Driver's License renewed today. And, I made it out to the store (wow, that feels like yesterday). But, other than that, it's been mostly about other people for today.

Sitting here in the family room. No lights on, no t.v., and no noise.. and it feels pretty damn good. :)

I hope I can accomplish more good stuff tomorrow.

Don't forget to move the clocks forward tonight.

Okay, so I did make it to the liquor store today and I bought some whipped cream vodka for next weekend. I also bought some bottles of soda that I put away for the trip. :) I am going to be making up for this lost weekend, and last lost weekend, NEXT weekend. :)

My hip hurts a little tonight.

I hope the kids grow up and reflect back and think, "Wow, my Mom was so wonderful". Just sayin'

Went for Chinese tonight. I really enjoyed it. Fred's a real good guy. I know he wasn't loving the idea of Chinese. :)

Happy Saturday!

Good Morning!
I've been up since 6 a.m., but I haven't made it out of the bed yet! I've had coffee, and have been sitting here watching "I Love Lucy" marathon. What a cute show. I absolutely had no appreciation for this show as a little girl. It was definitely not a show for kids to understand. I even enjoy the black and white. It's such a silly show!!!!!!

Today I am going to renew my Driver's License, and get some things done around the house. No big plans.

It's beautiful outside. Maybe I'll spend some time cleaning up out back, around the pool. I plan on having the back yard looking beautiful this spring. I might even plant a garden full of beautiful flowers. It's always my intention, it's just a time thing. I should make the time to do it. Flowers in the front, too.

I should get up and hop in the shower. Going to make the best of today!

Don't forget to move the clocks forward before you go to bed tonight!!!!!

Happy Friday Everyone!!

Just relaxing on a Friday night :)

Brooke is at the movies with Tyler

Mike is spending the night, hanging out with Brandon

And, Fred and I are in the family room. I just had a cup of coffee and he just ate. :)

It's a peaceful night at home with not much to report. Work this week was okay, and it actually went by rather quickly. Nice.....

Mom and Dad are going to Long Island tomorrow :)

Oh, and don't forget, we lose an hour tomorrow night!! Spring forward... YEAH for lighter later :) :) :)

I booked the hotel for my Aunt Suzie's wedding in May. She's getting married in Sturbridge, Mass. I don't think I've ever been there.

I had my Birthday this week. Wow, It's weird.... I don't feel 43. :(

Changed the cruise for August.... now it's just Fred and me going and we'll go on the 7th of August, on a totally different ship!!!! But, we're still headed to Bermuda, the most beautiful place I know.

No big plans for the weekend, BUT, next weekend should be a lot of fun!!!!!

This wine is super spectacular and I love it and am so glad I bought 6 different bottles from this company in California.

My name is Erin and I am a 43 year old woman.

I am happy to say that I am here to blog tonight. I am going to turn in rather early tonight, as I have had some late nights and a little trouble sleeping lately.

Tonight I am going to get a massage so I am sitting here waiting for that.

I have more stuff to add to my bucket list, but I'm struggling a little with my fuckit list. The one thing that comes to mind for that list is that I no longer have the burning desire to ride a mechanical bull. I am way too scared that I will fall off and get hurt. It's not important for me to see how long I can ride that bull.. I've taken way more bull rides than I care to talk about, and I've fallen enough times for my own good. lololololololololololol

Oh, the flood is supposed to come back to Yardley tomorrow.. ut-oh for Yardley Borough residents. I am happy that we no longer live down there and have to worry about losing a house, or everything we've worked for. I feel much happier and safer here in Fairless Hills where I now own a home.

k bye

2009 Victories Chardonnay

Inspire me...

In no Particular Order.....

This is a a work in progress. I am sure there's so much more, but these are some things that definitely come to mind.

Places I want to visit:

-Switzerland (only because my brother and his family live there)

-Las Vegas

-I traveled across Country as a little girl. I want to do it as an adult.I'd love to stay in old, cool motels and eat at Mom and Pop Diners from the 50's. (On this trip I'd like to avoid Missouri).ick....

-Hawaii

-Aruba, Jamaica....

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- I want to go back to my hometown and walk the steps I did as a child. I want to go to the Stony Brook Mill pond and feed the ducks. Walk along Sand Street Beach and search for Indian paint pods and sparkling little rocks. I want to walk through the village early in the morning, so I can enjoy the peace, like how it used to be. I want to take off my shoes and walk down the village green and sit by the little pond and dip my feet in. And then I want to cross the street and stare up at Hercules. I want to breathe the fresh salt air. Yep... I can see it clearly. :)

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I want to get in the best shape of my life.

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Learn how to pole dance, and go back to belly dancing class. And put on my own personal show :)

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I want to fly in an Airplane without being full of fear

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Sing in a Karaoke Bar

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Take a Cruise out of Florida to somewhere totally new and different

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I want to rent a Jet ski in Bermuda and go Para sailing there, too.

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Shopping spree...without worrying about money

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I want to roller skate again

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Take a vacation on a sleeper Train

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Buy a condo or home by the beach

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Do a sexy photo shoot and love the way I look and feel

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Have a big party with all of the friends I have, both near and far. Just because

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Go to NYC and see another Broadway show

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Gain the strength and ability to stop worrying about things so much

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Get a full body massage at a spa, followed by a manicure, pedicure, facial, and all sorts of girly treatments

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Get Hypnotized. One on One... to remember things lost or forgotten

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Go on a trip to really rural areas and go to a ton of flea markets and yard sales. An entire week long trip just for that.

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I DO believe in Unicorns

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Own a fancy, girly car that I love to drive and feel super sexy and beautiful in

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Spend the day in China Town. In Philadelphia. New York City China Town is scary to me for some reason.

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Show up at my Granny's as a surprise and take her to the movies and out to lunch

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Spend an afternoon with my Dad

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Spend an afternoon with my Mom

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Go on more one on one dates with my kids before they're to old to want to anymore

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Go back to that cool place with Fred by the Susquehanna River for the whole weekend

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Spend a weekend with Joey and Rose

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Be there to watch both of my kids grow up into beautiful and successful adults.

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Watch my kids get happily married, and have families of their own

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Okay, that's enough for now. This is a list that will grow. No doubt. But, these are things I thought of without really digging....

Monday's Thought Provoking Question.

Red

Poker Girl

Photo Fun!

Everyone is safe at home..

It's rainy....

I have my comfy's on.....

And, I'm watching one of my favorite movies!!!!!!

After, I will work on my lists!

Sunday Morning.

Sunday morning.
I love Sunday Mornings....

Postsecret, coffee.. email check, facebook.. the usual routine. I am a total creature of habit. And, that's okay as long as I'm learning that it's okay to step out of the same old same old and try new things. :)

I'll share something about Friday night. It was so strange.
I went to the ATM to take $60.00 out. No problem. But, when it came out of the machine and I held it in my hands, I couldn't comprehend that it was $60.00. I was staring at it (3 twenty dollar bills) wondering in my head how they could have only given me $30.00. Fred was asking me what was wrong and I was so focused on my mental block that I wasn't answering him. Soon I figured it out, recognized that it was the correct amount of money, and answered him. Either my head is way to full of things going on, or.. I'm losing it. I hope it's just normal. The same thing happens with names lately. I could know someone for years and all of the sudden I'll be telling a story about them, or relaying a message regarding them, and I can't remember their name. I get a little embarrassed when this happens at work. And, sometimes when it happens at home I feel stupid.. as though I'm playing some name game. But, I'm not. I hope I'm normal. Well, as normal as this girl can be.

Today I have my usual Sunday chores to do. Laundry, grocery shopping, pick the kids up...etc..etc.. Oh, speaking of kids....
You know what I like best about my ex husband? That he's my EX! lol....
He was supposed to pick Brookie up yesterday from her friends house. He never did. He didn't even call her once. Thank god I am constantly in touch with her... He never even checked on her to make sure she was ok. Not once. She was fine. She spent the night with Haley last night. I knew that. He didn't. She could have been somewhere she shouldn't be... she wasn't.... she was fine. But, he had no idea, and no care in the world. Stupid A-hole.

Well, I better get my day started. I have a lot to do, and I'm excited to get it all done. :)

Okay, I officially blew my diet tonight. I am STUFFED!!!!! We just got back from Chipotle. They make the biggest, most humongous stuff burrito's I have ever seen and eaten in my life! Since we walked in right before they closed, and they were so kind and made us super jumbo special Burrito's, we decided to bring them home to eat them. I couldn't eat the whole thing. I honestly feel like I am going to burst!!!! But, it was so delicious. Absolutely scrumptious.

Okay, so Tuesday is my Birthday. I've been thinking... I need to make myself a couple of lists. And, just like the usual me, I am going to post them on my blog. I plan on making one list that will take some thought. It's a follow up to my 40 list. I'm going to try to think about new things I have accomplished or done since that list was created. It will be a challenge, but, as always, I'm up for it. Then, I decided I will also do a "Bucket List". This one may take some time and extra effort as well. AND, while I'm at it... I'm going to do a "Fuck it" List... This list will be a collection of things that were important to me ONCE UPON A TIME.. but is no longer... for what ever reason. :) lol In any event, I will be working on these, probably right here on my blog, and posting them wide open, for anyone who crosses this path, to see..... It should be fun!!!!!! Maybe not recommended for weak at heart.

Saturday, March 5th

New Blonde in Town!

Tuesday

So, tomorrow we're buying my son his very first car. Where on earth have the years gone???? It feels bittersweet..... I'm happy and sad all in a sweet, loving bundle.
When I told Brandon, I thought he was going to explode with excitement. He's not exactly like me. When I get excited over something I do a happy dance, make funny sounds, jump up and down, smile like my face is going to break... Brandon, well he's more laid back. But tonight, I thought he was going to shoot through the roof. He was thrilled, and it was a total surprise. We've never even talked about getting him a car. Not ever...... so, this is pretty exciting stuff...

I think the car looks pretty much like the picture. I'll see it again tomorrow. It's owned by a nice girl I know... but I can't place the exact color and everything right now.